Classics reviewed by a 13 year old: Rear Window

YAWN

YAWN

So, the other day in my English Language class we watched this really old movie called Rear Windows. Basically a guy with a broken leg looks out of a window for ages and sees this woman get killed, which was totally boring and like the Simpsons episode I saw ages ago. It was made like before the world war 2 happened because they spoke with stupid accents, and the camera hardly moves (I guess they didn’t have the correct equipment to make the editing quick), and I felt like I was watching a play.

Teacher told us that the director Alfred Hitchcock is the master of suspense, but if I saw him on the street I’d tell him to add some better music in his films because I don’t like classical music with violins or bass lines. Honestly, if I have to see another one of his films I might literally die of boredom. That’s not to mention the acting was lame and he clearly didn’t have a broken leg because if he did why is he in a wheelchair? He’s not paralysed.

All in all I would say don’t bother with this film. It’s slow, it doesn’t make any sense (why doesn’t he watch TV instead of looking outside???) and the ending sucks because it’s really unrealistic.

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Categories: Classics @ 13

Tags: , , , , , ,

9 replies

  1. lol, well done!
    I’m guessing he looks out the window instead of watching TV because there just wasn’t anything good on back in those days.

  2. GREAT! What a fun post. Die of boredom. Ha!

  3. Hahaha! I’d like you to review Citizen Kane next please 🙂

  4. This is really great. I look forward to more. It would be cool to see a post about a classic film reviewed by a 13 year old Girl and one by a 13 year old boy.

  5. Hehe – love it. 🙂 I was going to write a review like this. But then I realized that most my reviews sound like this anyway. 😉

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