The Hottie and The Nottie

Ooo look, it’s the full film on youtube, should you wish to join in the fun… 

Let’s just get a little background on this film before we dive in. The Hottie and The Nottie (2008) was written by Heidi Ferrer, who’s writing credits on IMDB include one TV movie, two episodes of unknown TV shows and two episodes of  Dawson’s Creek in 1999. So we’re not exactly dealing with Shakespeare, but none the less she has written in the English language before and she is female. Two facts you wouldn’t necessarily get from watching the film. The film ‘stars’ Paris Hilton and is generally acknowledged world wide as a critical, financial and human rights disaster. I added the last one.

As per the usual disaster movie format, here are a few notes we made whilst watching the film….

  • Paris Hilton’s character’s name is Christabel- Too dumb. Refuse to acknowledge that.
  • Awful wardrobe and framing of the shot. The most unnatural scene ever.
  • She actually runs over him with the car. He would be dead. I hope he is dead so this can end. Shit only 5 mins in…
  •  Teaching people horrific morals
  • The year book actually made an animal noise when they looked at the pic of June
  • ‘Hotness of one girl is directly proportional to the hideousness of her best friend’- oh yes that well known saying. That no one said. Ever.
  • Have to tame the nottie/monstrosity/beast to get to, quote, ‘the hottest girl in LA’ end quote. Well done Paris for blowing one of the producers to get that line in.
  • Stalks this woman. Not funny. Psychotic.
  • This film is Paris jerking off to herself
  • Paris can’t act
  •  Her phone number has like 4 digits
  • Why does the guy need to be albino? Weird looking so must be weird -theme running through
  • WHAT?? Why would she look like that?? No reason. At all.
  • Keep on making horse noises when they show June!!
  • Paris can’t act.
  • That other bird can’t act
  • This film is attractive people having a really shit joke
  • ‘A life without orgasms is like a world without flowers’
  • I hate everyone in this film
  • Paris can’t act
  • ‘Pay our bar tab bitch’- I hope all these characters die.
  • Written by someone cracked out on crystal meth
  • Why would she wear knickers under her swimsuit??
  • Toe nail thing is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen.
  • Why would he still have loser on his car?
  • Paris actually in on manipulating her friend
  • Why do people have no manners or morals in this film???
  • Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!
  • All men are arseholes in this film too
  • Paris can’t act
  • Shock horror, everything wrong with her is cosmetic and can be really easily fixed.
  • I can’t watch this anymore……………

This film is definitely the worst film we have ever seen. Disaster Movie looks like Citizen Kane compared to this. The 1.9/10 rating this has on IMDB is overly generous. We need some sort of mental cleanse after this. Or a lobotomy.

Coming up in the ‘Disaster Movie’ series, it’s no. 3 on the IMDB worst movies off all time………


Here is the trailer to whet your whistle:


11 thoughts on “The Hottie and The Nottie

    1. It’s the most cynical kind of film making. It’s not funny or clever or well written. We’re watching the bottom 100 rated movies on IMDB so we’re putting ourselves through this a lot more times!

      1. Uhm, Elena and I should see this one cause I mean.. it has an Estonian actor in it and one should see movies with Hollywood made Estonian actors if one is from Estonia, right? WRONG! NEVER EVER SEE THIS MOVIE (I saw like 20 minutes of it and WANTED TO DIE!)

      2. We apologise for putting you through the pain of this movie! It’s so bad. So, so bad!!! Our next one on IMDb Bottom 100 could be worse though… Baby Geniuses 2 I think.

  1. I have to be honest. I didn’t think this was THAT bad. I mean it’s bad, sure. I don’t think it has anything on The Room, any of Uwe Boll films, to me it’s generally more watchable than any David Lynch film ever. I’d say it’s like a 4.0 at least.

    1. Noooo! David Lynch is a genius! Although I do agree that some of his films are quite hard to watch. I actually did my dissertation on David Lynch and his postmodern, “fuck you Hollywood” filmmaking. Uwe Boll is dog turd actually, as is The Room. I think the problem with The Hottie is that it is dressed up as an American Pie esque movie, stars a person that literally cannot act, and is so cynical. I’m sure we’ll review some other stinkers though! Any suggestions?

  2. But the thing is, sure it’s ‘Fuck you Hollywood’, but it continues down a path that just isn’t enjoyable for me, personally, and i’m all about experimental cinema. I have a bad one for you, it’s not ‘awful’ or you know, completely fucking terrible, but it’s a new kind of bad in regards to why it was commissioned or made, I’ve only read about it. The film I’m talking about is Dc Comic’s Steel (1997) starring Shaquille O’ Neal.

  3. Pingback: films and coke

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