Disaster Movie

disaster

‘What did I just watch?’

You only have to look at IMDB’s ‘People who like this movie also liked’ list to find the cinematic calibre of Disaster Movie. It shares the same shelf as Fat Slags ‘filthy toilet humour but we love it’ (not my quote), Superbabies 2: Baby Geniuses, Going Overboard (Sandler) and Pledge This (Paris Hilton). I know we are doing a section in which we watch the Bottom 100 on IMDB, but I honestly didn’t think a film that was made in 2009, a fairly innocuous-looking parody of disaster movies, could be so amazingly terrible.

I honestly won’t be able to do the film justice with a review. It really is something you have to see to believe, so I will just list some of the notes I made whilst staring agape at my TV.

  • Shame on you Apple for product placement
  • Would downing a bottle of tequila make you burp for a minute? ‘joke’ too long and disgusting
  • Why would there be a massive Ambien bottle with no medical instructions and just ‘AMBIEN’ written in big letters?
  • And then boobs
  • WHAT?! That midget had to be under the duvet for the whole scene?
  • Terrible pop references – shitty reality shows Sweet 16
  • I only laugh when I realise how stony-faced I am while watching a comedy
  • Molestation on the “lesbian” – she doesn’t like dick so let’s molest her!
  • What…the…country for old men
  • Kim Kardashian and Carmen Electra are just awful
  • It really has no soul – it’s so half-arsed the sound effects aren’t even in synced with visuals
  • It’s like watching a shitty meme video on YouTube but feature length
  • Why is a 40 year old playing the Juno character?
  • There must only be about 20 extras because a woman in a purple shirt is just running across the same road over and over again during the meteor shower
  • Humour comes in threes, when the humour is funny… Three unfunny things in one joke is 3 times as unfunny
  • He punched the baby!
  • Oh but OK, the baby got its own back by coming out of mother’s vagina and kicking him in the face
  • Set piece after set piece all filmed in tableau vivant – the only time I stand in a line all facing forward while talking is when I’m pissing in a urinal
  • WHY IS HE WIPING SHIT ALL OVER HIS FACE?!
  • So he called a black guy a ‘dark peasant’. This film is racist.
  • Why is Michael Jackson in the boot?
  • Stop hitting women and children
  • Where is the cut on her shoulder?
  • Fuck this movie.

Disaster Movie is insane. It offends black people, gay people, women, children, Batman, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and the art of filmmaking. It is a white male, conservative comedy, which is the worst kind of comedy. It makes Judd Apatow look like Spike Lee. But I recommend watching it because 1.9/10 on IMBD – the lowest rated film on the website – means something, eh?

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Categories: Disaster Movies

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